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May 30, 2011
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Idiot Wind 05 by JonathanWyke Idiot Wind 05 by JonathanWyke
Idiot Wind, page five.

I'm still pottering away on this, and have now reached page 5.

What I've tried to do here is to show the female lead's emotional - and physical - movement away as the page develops, going from close-up to further away with her back turned as she leaves. Hopefully that works, but please shout out if you think it's too clumsy.

Once again, no text adds yet. I'll be (probably) adding it all in once I've done the first ten pages or so.



Idiot Wind is 2011 Jonathan Wyke

Pencil + Hand / Illustrator + Mouse / Photoshop + Wacom
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:icondavidyardin:
Stylistically I like your page. I also like your layout, it has a good flow, and leads the eye nicely through the page. My main problem with your page though, is that it is hard to follow who is who; there is no immediate visual recognition of the characters in each panel for a number of reasons.

Firstly you have grey rendering on the man in panel one, but none on the woman, but then in panel two you do the exact opposite. This confuses the reader, especially since you also dramatically change the angle the characters are viewed from.

Also because you only show the woman's back in panel three, and because her hair is now tied back, this further confuses her identity.

The lack of backgrounds throughout the page, while aesthetically pleasing, obviously hinders you being able to further establish who is who in each panel.

I would suggest toning the figures consistently throughout the page, and in panel three either have the woman tying back her hair, or have hair the same as in the other panels. Maybe also zoom out a bit in panel three, and show a bit more background in that panel. I'm not sure what you have established background-wise in the preceeding pages, but if you can tie it back to something you've already established, that would work a lot better in terms of your storytelling.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
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:icondylanio21:
Dylanio21 Featured By Owner May 31, 2011  Professional Traditional Artist
Looks outta this world.
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:iconjonathanwyke:
JonathanWyke Featured By Owner May 31, 2011   General Artist
Thanks very much!
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:icondylanio21:
Dylanio21 Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2011  Professional Traditional Artist
You're welcome very much!
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:iconjoeyv7:
joeyv7 Featured By Owner May 31, 2011
Nice sense of isolation and pacing :)
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:iconjonathanwyke:
JonathanWyke Featured By Owner May 31, 2011   General Artist
Thanks very much :)
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:iconcsyeung:
Csyeung Featured By Owner May 31, 2011  Professional Traditional Artist
Whoa you got David to critique your work. Cool stuff! I kinda agree with his critique though, I think the simplicity of your backgrounds tend to confuse some of the storytelling. I, like Ian, thought that was an empty panel. If it's a door, I would suggest indicating part of the doorknob and/or part of of the door hinge at an angle. The panel borders will still have a tendancy to break it into a panel. Another suggestion is also push the wall/door perspective back into the picture so that you can see the perspective lines within the panel (the Y so to speak) so that the lines of the opening is not perpendicular to the panel frame.
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:iconjonathanwyke:
JonathanWyke Featured By Owner May 31, 2011   General Artist
I know, I almost pee'd my pants!

You're right - along with perhaps everyone in the universe except me when drawing it - about panel 3. I'd like to think I was so caught up in zooming in and out that I simply missed it, but that's not true. I thought it was a good idea at the time... Still, we learn by our mistakes :)
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:iconcric:
cric Featured By Owner May 31, 2011  Professional Digital Artist
the pages feels so real, man, do you used reference on drawing those? looks very cool :la:
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:iconjonathanwyke:
JonathanWyke Featured By Owner May 31, 2011   General Artist
Cheers. For these I use a mixture of refs: inside my head, a mirror, some life drawing and some photo-refs for the tricky bits. Whatever's needed really...
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:iconcric:
cric Featured By Owner May 31, 2011  Professional Digital Artist
nice man, you realy got the realistic touch there :iconclonelaplz:
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